party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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