hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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