Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
