I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
