im holly from the hills drunk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
