but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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