wat bout pragnant strippers??
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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