This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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