she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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