I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize