I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
