idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
