My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
