i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
