He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
