I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
