i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
