I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
