I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
