mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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