no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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