Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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