i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
