I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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