I hope mine doesn't look like that
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
