the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
