Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
