Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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