My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
this boner is exhausting
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
