i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
