You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
