I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
