Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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