I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
