She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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