There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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