First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
