I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
