I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
