the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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