Pappa wants mamma naked
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize