Swine flu. Run for my life!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
