grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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