me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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