i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
