Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
