I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
