State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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