u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
