In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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