I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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