He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
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