I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
