I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
