Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
