There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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