As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
