This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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