He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
