nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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