I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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